Sometimes I think I’m a storyteller by nature. There’s this constant need to grab ahold of the attention of others and not let go. My life experiences are my stories. Played out in mini episodes to capture the essence of each event. Except, the episodes are all mixed up, so you’ll have to figure out what order everything goes. Sorry about that.
My goal is not just to tell someone what has happened to me, but to induce in them the emotions I had felt. To provoke happiness or sadness. To generate fear or courage. To pluck at their heartstrings with every word I deliver.
Sometimes I just want them to feel the same as I do so that I’m not alone. But mostly because I want people to know about the life I’ve lived with hope that my stories change them in some ways. Hopefully in good ways.
Sharing my stories makes me happy. And I’ve been through a world of experiences. So it’s no wonder I always have something to tell. Except that it gets me into trouble sometimes because it seems like I’m trying to control the conversation.
Contrary to that belief, I say nothing when I can’t relate. But when the topic is about something I know, I get excited about being able to join in. I tend to get a little too enthusiastic and take over without realizing it. Remember the part about being a storyteller?
For as long as I can remember no one ever told me how annoying it was, so I didn’t know I was doing anything wrong. They didn’t want to hurt my feelings, but little did they know. The devastation my heart felt, when I learned that even those closest to me thought I was overbearing, wreaked havoc on my soul. Soon whenever I even thought of starting a story, my words caught in my throat and choked me into silence. I never want to be an annoyance again. Now I try to force myself to wait until someone asks to hear about my life. There are times when I fail, but I’m hoping it will go unnoticed.
Silence is my weakness. But who will listen if my loved ones don’t?
Even if some people don’t, someone out there wants to hear them. Someone wants to know that they aren’t alone. Someone needs what I have to offer through my words. And maybe, just maybe, there are other people who just wants to be there for me. Even if they can only communicate to me through their words.
So now I write my stories on my blog for anyone willing to read about them. This way, I can still tell my stories while those that don’t want to know them, can walk away. No guilt. No irritation. No displeasure. No pain.
Most of my stories tell of the struggles I went through and overcame in order to make my life more worth living. I hope that you, whoever you are, continue to keep reading. I hope that you enjoy every one I have to tell.
And I hope to continue to have stories to share.
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