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simply complex. totally insane. http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com thoughts as cold as stone Fri, 24 Jun 2011 08:00:54 +0000 en-US hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=4.1.22 Shifting gears http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2011/06/24/shifting-gears/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2011/06/24/shifting-gears/#comments Fri, 24 Jun 2011 08:00:16 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/?p=2398 Accepted my faults and working to change them. Time to shift focus.
It’s the only way for me to become a better person.

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No excuses http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2011/06/16/no-excuses/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2011/06/16/no-excuses/#comments Fri, 17 Jun 2011 03:47:00 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/?p=2393 No excuses. My daily mantra.

I do not let my past dictate my future. I do not use the abuse as an excuse. I do not let my failures stop me from succeeding. I’m in charge of my life. Of building a strong foundation for my children’s lives.

Recently I gave this advice to someone close to me who threw out excuse after excuse for why they don’t or won’t do things. With every excuse, I countered. After so many I simply said, “No. Wait. Stop. Those are excuses. No more excuses. They don’t work anymore.” It was a harsh thing to say, but I believe I needed to. Excuses get in the way and make people miserable because they feel they can’t do the things they only dream of doing.

I say, stop dreaming and do it. No more excuses. Get out there and live life. You may fail, but that’s okay. Take it as a lesson learned. Try a different approach. Try multiple times before thinking about giving up. Then, and only then, is it okay to give up. Except, don’t give up on yourself. Try something new. Find something else. Keep trying until you find what you can do, but only stop if it’s what you want.

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Not quitting quitting http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2011/06/06/not-quitting-quitting/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2011/06/06/not-quitting-quitting/#comments Mon, 06 Jun 2011 18:24:28 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/?p=2388 A year ago I quit smoking and have not looked back. There are days when I would crave a cigarette, and a couple drunken nights I’ve given in, but I have not picked the habit back up. I refuse to.

Let me tell you, I feel so much better. I can work harder and longer because I can breathe better. I smell better. I have more time to do things because I no longer need to stop and have a smoke. I no longer have the painful monthly menstrual cramps that drop me into a tear-filled fetal position every time it hits. And most of all, I’ve saved nearly FIFTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS and was able to put it to the downpayment of a house.

It feels great and I am proof that it can be done. After 22 years of smoking, I just quit because I felt it was time. For those that think it’s not possible, believe me, it is. When someone asks me how I did it (cold turkey) I tell them, “The only thing you need to do is want to quit. And I mean, REALLY WANT TO. If you feel you can’t, then you don’t really want to. Don’t try until you’re absolutely sure it’s what you want.” When you do that, you can’t fail.

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Quitter http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/06/29/quitter/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/06/29/quitter/#comments Tue, 29 Jun 2010 15:29:14 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/?p=2366 Earlier this month the hubs held my hand and with his most concerned voice mentioned that I should quit smoking. He didn’t demand it. He didn’t even try to push me further. Just a simple, “You really should stop smoking” and that was it. Nothing else. He would never push me to do something I didn’t want to do willingly. All these years together he has never tried to make me quit. He knows how I feel about someone trying to dictate my life. I think he just silently hoped I would do it on my own.

If you’ve been paying attention, I’ve been smoking for a long time and this is not an easy task. But with the look on his face as he stared at my hand, I found my inspiration. His love. Him.

It’s been about a month cold turkey. My goal is the rest of my life. Wish me luck. I’m doing this.

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Set back with tears http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/02/20/set-back-with-tears/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/02/20/set-back-with-tears/#comments Sat, 20 Feb 2010 20:00:38 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/?p=2332 I know. I’ve been slacking. But I’m seriously lacking motivation. Life has not been too fair to us. All that for another blog. Maybe. But for now let me tell you about the heaviest weight on my shoulders.

I got an email late last month from Niki’s teacher asking to have a conference with her regarding Niki’s progress in school. The hubs took a bit of time off work to go with me. I needed the support and assistance. So we went. It was not a great way to start the day.

Niki is falling behind in reading and math. Two subject that came so easily to the hubs and I. The idea that it was hard for our daughter was foreign and hard to grasp. We knew she struggled but not to the extent we were told. She receives lots of extra tutoring in school for both subjects, but still can’t catch up with the rest of her class. Her teacher believes it can be due to her age. She is one of the youngest in there.

Then the hammer fell and smashed me on the head. Or the heart. I really can’t tell. All I know is that it hurt a lot. Her teacher, along with her reading teacher, suggest we have Niki take second grade over again next school year. They believe that her age and the fact that she doesn’t yet fully grasp the importance of school will be her downfall. They say if we don’t, next year will be harder. And it’ll continue this way and she’ll struggle through the rest of her school years.

Now tell me. What would you say to that? How would you feel if someone told you that about your seven year old?

We asked for options. What else can we do? Is this really what’s best for her? They say the other option, aside from just winging it and crossing our fingers, is to get her a tutor. Someone that is not us. Because she might feel more comfortable with someone other than her parents or teacher.

Tell me. What would you do?

Me. I fell apart as soon as I stepped foot into the house. I cried my eyes out. How could I fail my daughter like this? She’s so young and I’m already doing such a horrible job. I am not a good teacher. I’m impatient and easily irritated. And my mind is always distracted with everything else that no matter how hard I try, I cannot concentrate.

So what have we decided? Well we can’t afford a tutor. And. We don’t know anyone who has time to help. But we don’t want her repeating second grade again. So the obvious choice is to just wing it.

I know. That makes us awful parents. Doesn’t sound like we are doing what is best for her. But I don’t know what else to do. Maybe I could find help during the summer. Someone who can help us. Until then, we’re going to struggle toether and hope for the best.

Life ain’t worth living without some struggle, right? This just happens to be a family event. We’ll do this together. Hopefully we succeed.

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Secrets From A Little Bird http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/02/01/secrets-from-a-little-bird-578/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/02/01/secrets-from-a-little-bird-578/#comments Mon, 01 Feb 2010 14:46:00 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/02/01/secrets-from-a-little-bird-578/
  • @gostaciago @mattfromseattle Wow! Just wow. I'm happy they didn't do that here in Renton or @nikishajean would have just skipped kinder. in reply to gostaciago #
  • Obama is going to Guam in March?! I think my family needs a visit from me. March sounds like the perfect time. #
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    Secrets From A Little Bird http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/31/secrets-from-a-little-bird-577/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/31/secrets-from-a-little-bird-577/#comments Sun, 31 Jan 2010 14:46:00 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/31/secrets-from-a-little-bird-577/
  • At the library w/@ambofgod @sxtxixtxcxh @nikishajean & @maebyl. None of us are reading… books. http://twitpic.com/10kjt3 #
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    Secrets From A Little Bird http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/30/secrets-from-a-little-bird-576/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/30/secrets-from-a-little-bird-576/#comments Sat, 30 Jan 2010 14:46:00 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/30/secrets-from-a-little-bird-576/
  • We're out of whiskey. This is blasphemy!! #
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    Secrets From A Little Bird http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/29/secrets-from-a-little-bird-575/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/29/secrets-from-a-little-bird-575/#comments Fri, 29 Jan 2010 14:46:00 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/29/secrets-from-a-little-bird-575/
  • @pinkstar Here's a screenshot from my phone. It's cuuuuuute! http://twitpic.com/104f9j in reply to pinkstar #
  • @pinkstar Yeah. I know you are but I don't know how. So I'm cheating. *ashamed* LOL! in reply to pinkstar #
  • @davidhoang LOL. The other one was funny though! in reply to davidhoang #
  • @davidhoang @orchid8 @luciddraco @michaeljthom @greenlaundry Seems more like a win to me! in reply to davidhoang #
  • @pinkstar Omg! They're so cuuute! in reply to pinkstar #
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    Secrets From A Little Bird http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/28/secrets-from-a-little-bird-574/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/28/secrets-from-a-little-bird-574/#comments Thu, 28 Jan 2010 14:46:00 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/28/secrets-from-a-little-bird-574/
  • @pinkstar No. Even better, it's an octopus! in reply to pinkstar #
  • @xshallsx @sweet_icing Whaaat?! in reply to xshallsx #
  • @xshallsx Lame. I love that show. in reply to xshallsx #
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    Secrets From A Little Bird http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/27/secrets-from-a-little-bird-573/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/27/secrets-from-a-little-bird-573/#comments Wed, 27 Jan 2010 14:46:00 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/27/secrets-from-a-little-bird-573/
  • @pinkstarin reply to pinkstar #
  • @pinkstar I can! in reply to pinkstar #
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    Secrets From A Little Bird http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/26/secrets-from-a-little-bird-572/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/26/secrets-from-a-little-bird-572/#comments Tue, 26 Jan 2010 14:46:00 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/26/secrets-from-a-little-bird-572/
  • @enept That sounds fun. Do it! in reply to enept #
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    Secrets From A Little Bird http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/25/secrets-from-a-little-bird-571/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/25/secrets-from-a-little-bird-571/#comments Mon, 25 Jan 2010 14:46:00 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/25/secrets-from-a-little-bird-571/
  • @nikishajean wants "Kissed A Girl" on her iPod. I told her I'll look for it tomorrow. *dance*dance*dance* #
  • @latitude13 I said something like that to @sxtxixtxcxh & our friends when we were in Cali. Then I bought some shirts & tanks. Hehe. in reply to latitude13 #
  • @davidhoang Sure! Add me. in reply to davidhoang #
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    Secrets From A Little Bird http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/24/secrets-from-a-little-bird-570/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/24/secrets-from-a-little-bird-570/#comments Sun, 24 Jan 2010 14:46:00 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/24/secrets-from-a-little-bird-570/
  • @sydeshow Mmmm. Whiskey! in reply to sydeshow #
  • @davidhoang I play that too, but mostly w/@sxtxixtxcxh. in reply to davidhoang #
  • Still just a kitten. http://twitpic.com/zgj9n #
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    Secrets From A Little Bird http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/23/secrets-from-a-little-bird-569/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/23/secrets-from-a-little-bird-569/#comments Sat, 23 Jan 2010 14:46:00 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/23/secrets-from-a-little-bird-569/
  • @mattfromseattle Sooo sorry! That was actually @sxtxixtxcxh's mom. She's very protective of me. & still kinda new to social networks. LOL! in reply to mattfromseattle #
  • I need me some sistartime. Where is @ambofgod?! #
  • @ambofgod Finethen. I'll have sistartime alone. I should get used to it anyway. Japams! in reply to ambofgod #
  • @ambofgod YES! in reply to ambofgod #
  • Coffee isn't working. I can has nap? #
  • @ambofgod Hey now. It worked, right? AMIRITE?! in reply to ambofgod #
  • @latitude13 Ditto. And it sucks because I like sleeping in! in reply to latitude13 #
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    Secrets From A Little Bird http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/21/secrets-from-a-little-bird-568/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/21/secrets-from-a-little-bird-568/#comments Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:46:00 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/21/secrets-from-a-little-bird-568/
  • @atomik671 Shit. So @sxtxixtxcxh and I are doing it wrong then? in reply to atomik671 #
  • @pinkstar I'm pretty sure it's always been like that. in reply to pinkstar #
  • @atomik671 Well then. I'm going to have to change that right now! LOL! in reply to atomik671 #
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    Secrets From A Little Bird http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/20/secrets-from-a-little-bird-567/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/20/secrets-from-a-little-bird-567/#comments Wed, 20 Jan 2010 14:46:00 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/20/secrets-from-a-little-bird-567/
  • @ambofgod Stay calm. Breathe. LOL! What are you doing there, sistar? in reply to ambofgod #
  • It's my older brother's bday today. My nephew on the 20th. My dad & younger brother on the 22nd. I wish they weren't all so far away. *pout* #
  • @xconway Not to burst your bubble, but we had all that plus HAIL & SNOW all w/in a couple hours here in Seattle. Mother Nature was pissed! in reply to xconway #
  • "Oh. You play that Yoville crap too?!"

    LOL! My mom is awesome! #

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    Secrets From A Little Bird http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/19/secrets-from-a-little-bird-566/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/19/secrets-from-a-little-bird-566/#comments Tue, 19 Jan 2010 14:46:00 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/19/secrets-from-a-little-bird-566/
  • Sleepy. Maybe I shouldn't have stayed up so late. #
  • @ambofgod Shuddap! in reply to ambofgod #
  • ProTip: When trying 2 sell me something, pressuring me to call my husband at work is bad. SuperProTip: Don't make me feel like a bad parent! #
  • Can someone make this guy leave? I'm not mean enough. #
  • In totally unrelated news: Anyone want to give me 2.7k? I need to buy a Kirby. #
  • @RevFry I told him I don't make any decisions w/out discussing it w/@sxtxixtxcxh. I thought that would be the end of it & he'd leave. Wrong. in reply to RevFry #
  • @daifukumochi I only let him stay because he was kinda cute. LOL! in reply to daifukumochi #
  • @RevFry It's okay. He cleaned my rugs, couches, and upstairs hallway for free! Now I don't have to do it. in reply to RevFry #
  • @gostaciago Maybe I might have if he was ugly, but this guy was kind of cute. *wink* in reply to gostaciago #
  • @daifukumochi Ahahah! Yes pls! in reply to daifukumochi #
  • @daifukumochi No. A Kirby. LOL! in reply to daifukumochi #
  • @pinkstar I usually just drink more water. Seems to work for me. Aveeno moisturizers for baby works great as well. in reply to pinkstar #
  • @pinkstar @leilanit I also dislike strong scented lotions. Plain cocoa butter is great. And smells yummy! in reply to pinkstar #
  • @LankaKitten Yeah. Theatre foods/ drinks are huge. I bought 2 "small" sodas for @nikishajean & my nephew when we watched New Moon. I freaked in reply to LankaKitten #
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    Secrets From A Little Bird http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/18/secrets-from-a-little-bird-565/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/18/secrets-from-a-little-bird-565/#comments Mon, 18 Jan 2010 14:46:00 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/18/secrets-from-a-little-bird-565/
  • @atomik671 We want to watch it. Heh. in reply to atomik671 #
  • Anyone remember when I wished/wanted to adopt a teenager last year? Did any of you think it would happen? Because I didn't. But it might. #
  • @ambofgod My grandma is thinking about sending my cousin to live with me. I guess we'll see. in reply to ambofgod #
  • @atomik671 I guess you can say I'm at work. You know, doing the stay-at-home mom&wifey job. LOL! in reply to atomik671 #
  • @gostaciago My family wants to send my cousin to live w/me. She's 14 (or 15). I'm pretty sure it'll be great, but w/room for doubt. in reply to gostaciago #
  • @RevFry Aww. I'm kinda sad. I wish we had enough money to have bought it. in reply to RevFry #
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    Secrets From A Little Bird http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/17/secrets-from-a-little-bird-564/ http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/17/secrets-from-a-little-bird-564/#comments Sun, 17 Jan 2010 14:46:00 +0000 http://simplycomplextotallyinsane.com/2010/01/17/secrets-from-a-little-bird-564/
  • @sntxrr Happy Birthday! How OLD are you now? in reply to sntxrr #
  • @gostaciago They were just the way I like them. Good and strong! in reply to gostaciago #
  • @ambofgod More like, "I don't yike pants." with the cutest lisp ever! in reply to ambofgod #
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