Stock up on rations. Secure windows and doors.

Except. I am the storm. My rage is the destructive winds lifting everything in site and tearing it down. My tears are the rain that falls throughout the storm. My stress is the cause.

I can feel it. Tears welling up in my eyes knowing I can’t get us out of the hole we’ve dug. Holding them back gets harder as the day rolls on. Every little thing makes me angry. I just want to scream and break things.

The hubs is doing everything and more to get us out, but it’s not enough. But no matter how hard I try, there’s nothing I can do to help him. I’m hopeless. Helpless.

I used to be able to just get up and run away for a while whenever I feel this way. Clear my head and realize that it’s not so bad. But now. Now is different. The stress is with me every single day. Knowing that at any moment things could get worse and I won’t be able to stop it. The helplessness I feel not being able to do anything. And I can’t run. I have children to think about. And that makes it worse because I’ve brought them here to witness my weakness.

I’m going to have a breakdown again. I know. It has already started.

For Daddy’s Day I made these little 2″ bots for the hubs out of polymer clay. I was so impatient excited that I didn’t wait for today to give them to him. Instead, I gave them to him on Friday. Yes. Two days early.

Please note that this picture was taken before I stuck them in the oven to harden them. PowerBot had been glazed first and the white didn’t come out so bright. StitchBot was not glazed and the colors didn’t have the glossy look to it after baking. He is slightly dull but it actually looks good.

The hubs liked them so much he immediately told me to sell them on etsy. Just not his!

By the way, Happy Daddy’s Day to all the Dads in my life! Every last one of you.

In April I bought my kitties a few new food dishes. We didn’t have that many and washing them after every meal was just too much for me with everything else I have to do. Then today I went in search of a water fountain for them to drink from in hopes to get Miss Kitty to drink more. We’ve tried setting out bowls of water, but she wouldn’t drink from them. I’m hoping this works.

In the aisle where the fountains were I noticed that they had more cute dishes on sale. I picked up “his” in blue to go with hers, a pair of dishes that say SPOILED, and this one. I had to get it because it’s cute and like a pedestal.

Perfect for Miss Kitty.

If you don’t want to pay for other people’s health care costs for whatever fucking stupid reason, here’s what you should do. Stop putting your money into the health insurance pot. Get your own fucking pot. Put your money in it. Use it whenever you, your spouse, child, dog or fish need it. Then you don’t have to bitch about paying for anyone else. Leave the big pot for those who don’t mind, or care, what everyone’s reasons are for using the money.

Fuck it. I’m not putting my money in the pot anymore. You people suck.

Yesterday I went on a cleaning binge. I was doing housework inside and out from just before 8AM and didn’t stop until twelve hours later. I always feel really good after a day of working so hard.

While I was out back clearing out the weeds and grass that were along the fence, which I had been seriously neglecting, I came across this guy. He was just hanging out under the shade of the grass. I moved him aside while I cleared everything out, took his picture (he’s very photogenic), and moved him to a new shady location.